The Before and After Photos We Don't Share: An Ostomy Story

When I think about the journey of living with an ostomy, the images that come to mind are not the typical before-and-after photos you see in magazines or online. Those photos often show physical changes, but they rarely capture the mental and emotional transformation that happens behind the scenes. For me, dressing before and after my ostomy surgery was more than just putting on clothes. It was a mental battle shaped by social anxiety, fear, and eventually, relief and acceptance.

Me before the surgery

Dressing Before Surgery: The Weight of Anxiety

Before my surgery, dressing was a daily challenge. It wasn’t about fashion or comfort—it was about hiding. I constantly worried about how others might see me. This anxiety shaped every outfit choice. Loose clothes became my armor, designed to conceal rather than express.

The stress of this constant vigilance was exhausting. I remember standing in front of my closet, feeling overwhelmed by the thought of facing the world. Would my clothes betray me? Would someone notice the tummy rolls I was trying to hide? This mental dressing was a form of social anxiety that crept into every part of my life.

Looking back, I realize this stress probably contributed to my health decline. The tension and worry were constant companions, and I suspect they played a role in the development of my colon cancer. It’s hard to separate the physical from the mental when it comes to illness, but the connection feels real.

The Surgery and Its Physical Marks

Me after surgery

Undergoing ostomy surgery was a turning point. The physical scars were visible reminders of what I had been through, but they also marked a new beginning. The surgery changed my body, but it also changed how I saw myself.

The scars were not just wounds; they were symbols of survival. They told a story of pain, struggle, and ultimately, hope. I learned to see them not as imperfections but as proof that I was still here, still fighting.

Dressing After Surgery: Finding Relief in My Own Skin

After surgery, dressing took on a new meaning. Instead of hiding, I started to feel a sense of relief. Yes, the scars were there, and yes, the ostomy bag was a part of my daily life, but I felt more alive than I had in years.

I began choosing clothes that made me feel comfortable and confident, not just concealed. I learned to dress for myself, not for the fear of judgment. This shift was liberating. It was a mental release as much as a physical one.

The process wasn’t instant. There were days when I still felt self-conscious or worried about how others might react. But over time, those moments became fewer. I found strength in my vulnerability and pride in my resilience.

The Mental Shift: From Anxiety to Acceptance

The most profound change wasn’t in my wardrobe but in my mindset. The mental journey from anxiety to acceptance was gradual and deeply personal. It involved confronting fears, challenging negative thoughts, and embracing my new reality.

I found support in communities of people living with ostomies. Hearing their stories and sharing mine helped me realize I was not alone. This connection was crucial in building confidence and reducing the stigma I had internalized.

Living Fully After Surgery

Today, I live fully in my own skin. The scars and the ostomy bag are parts of me, but they don’t define me. I dress for comfort, for joy, and for life. The mental freedom I’ve gained is priceless.

If you or someone you know is facing ostomy surgery, remember that the journey is not just physical. The mental transformation is just as important. Give yourself time, seek support, and know that relief and acceptance are possible.